Updated: Jul 9, 2020
So... I’ve been suffering from “artists block” ... many reasons… changes that have happened in my life in the last year and moving home/ studio... unsettling... and this is obviously been a tough time. However.. I am slowly gaining momentum again… Starting to become excited and getting inspiration from this painting. It is different, more free and daring, vulnerable then my paintings before . I am ready.
I have realised my weakest attribute of my character is that I can not handle disappointment... I had such big dreams this year... I was going to travel , go to Paris… go to Zanzibar ! ... oh dear that never happened… instead my gearbox of my car broke down and it caused chaos in my life and especially my finances... why oh why? one asks yourself... but somehow i received blessings in the tough time and all eventually got fixed… only it caused so much damage to my creativity/productivity somehow that i lost belief in myself... I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true... Changes… "things change" one of my favourite songs right, now by Tom Budin... It’s happy and deep at the same time... We need to embrace change... mentally and physically. One of the most prominent changes for me this year was not having children at home. I lost the “energy” I used to have... my whole dynamic has changed. But one has to embrace a change… not fight it... go with the flow… ride with the waves... keep going... breathe... PAINT ( for me )... But I didn’t paint... I was escaping… started losing my confidence, was confused , financially I was struggling... and I thought did I keep going for all these years to give up now? No... I received a blessing in the midst of this turmoil... l little time out on a Greek Isle... while I was swimming in that beautiful blue ocean... I made a decision... I am needing to give up my apartment, my home, my studio… whatever the sacrifices I was to make... I am going to make them… but one thing I cannot give up is my painting . I have moved to a smaller place... but I am happy… and now I will continue my road to where I don’t know... but… full of anticipation... but it will be one that i create as I go along... with passion,determination and love.
What drives me the most and gives me incredible energy is the music I listen to when i paint. I often think about how closely we are related... musicians and artists... one constantly needs to create new pieces... and one gets adoration for it or mockery... so courage is what it takes to carry on... and a deep respect for one’s talent one was given.
Let see what the next week is going to bring… Lots of love Mo Nique